Yep, Jolly Old Saint Nick. In our family we don't push him on our kids. At the same time, we don't push our kids away from him either. We don't feel comfortable feeding our kids a bold faced lie when they directly ask, "Is Santa real?" right after citing some reasons why they don't think he can be. Trey basically figured it out at age 5. Bex has no idea and will probably keep believing until he is 18. Trey is very analytical and not super trusting. Bex is uber-trusting and not overly analytical. A couple of years ago Trey literally backed Marisa into a corner after seeing smoke come out of the neighbor's small chimney. He told her that he doesn't believe Santa can fit through that little burning hole, has tons of small people that work for him, and he absolutely can not make it around to the millions of houses in one night. Would you LIE to your child and tell him that his astute thinking is incorrect and there is magic that allows him to bend the space-time continuum? We couldn't.
I know some people think we rob our children (well, so far just one) of the joy of Christmas by doing this and thus the motivation for this post. It absolutely doesn't take anything away from Christmas. Does the joy for children come from the presents on Christmas morning, or from who gave them? In our experience, Christmas morning has not lost a single lumen of its luster for our oldest child. He is just as excited as he was before, and is just as excited as his younger brothers. In fact, one could argue that Trey has more appreciation knowing that the toys are from us an not some fat old man with red cheeks that gives them away for free. And who knows, maybe he'll be a little less likely to be a socialist and expect some greater force out there to give him things for free...
I know some people think we rob our children (well, so far just one) of the joy of Christmas by doing this and thus the motivation for this post. It absolutely doesn't take anything away from Christmas. Does the joy for children come from the presents on Christmas morning, or from who gave them? In our experience, Christmas morning has not lost a single lumen of its luster for our oldest child. He is just as excited as he was before, and is just as excited as his younger brothers. In fact, one could argue that Trey has more appreciation knowing that the toys are from us an not some fat old man with red cheeks that gives them away for free. And who knows, maybe he'll be a little less likely to be a socialist and expect some greater force out there to give him things for free...
3 comments:
I love this post Carson. I'm with you %100. We haven't gotten any criticism for the way we do it, just concerned parents that my kids will ruin it for theirs, so I've put a lot of thought into how to explain it to my kids so that they don't antagonize others. Still kind of a work in progress.
I thought I would update Carson's observation that "Bex has no idea and will probably believe until he is 18." This morning I mentioned something to Beckham about the candy Santa brought him, and he said "Santa's not real." I asked what he meant by that and he said "There is no Santa. You buy the presents and put them there." Trey swears he doesn't say anything to Beckham and I don't know if that's completely true or not, but I think a lot of the problem is that we don't push it on our kids. We don't make up elaborate details to enhance the lie and make it more believable, so the kids figure it out early. They aren't emotionally invested in the idea, so it's no big deal. Like you said Rachel, the only problem is other people's kids. But when I was a kid my best friend was Jewish, and although her mom made her swear on her life to never say anything to me about Santa, it was pretty obvious to me when I realized that Santa only came to the Christian kids... honestly the whole thing is just so dumb I can't stand it. When you stand back and take a look at it, it's ridiculous that our culture has created a magical creature for our children to believe in and if you choose not to participate then other parents hate you. It's like we're coerced into being part of a huge conspiracy against our children that inevitable ends in disappointment and even heartache and mistrust. I'd say the #1 reason I don't directly say anything to my kids about Santa is so I can tell them I never lie to them, and that extends to all other areas of life- if they ask a question and I'm tempted to tell them a "little white lie" I'll just say instead "I don't want to answer that right now" or "I'm not going to tell you" or "we can talk about that later." That reminds me of something else I hate - when parents pretend that something will "make the monsters go away" or anything else that implies that monsters are real. I tell my kids in no uncertain terms that there absolutely are no monsters, and no amount of leaving the light on or chasing them away with a magic stick is going to change that. I mean, I let them leave the light on if they are terrified, but I make sure that they know that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Amen Marisa. One thing I find out here is that there is a big emphasis on Santa and Jesus being sort of the same being. There is a huge billboard on the freeway that makes me want to vomit every time I see it. It's for the quilted bear or something, and depicts a ceramic Santa Clause kneeling in adoration of the baby Jesus in a manger. There is even a book about the similarities between the two that is fairly popular. Do our kids think the same thing about Santa as Jesus? When they realize the truth, would some of that disillusionment carry over to other things that we do consider true? The whole thing just turns me off: the entitlement, the manipulation, the associated consumerism, the pseudo symbols, etc. I do, however, see that in many families it is a fun filled tradition that creates many positive memories.
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